I'm in the danger zone again....

According to this packet of Female Horse's Urine in tablet form that I'm taking, aka HRT, I should get my you-know-whats any time?

So I'm watching my 'nervous' health like a hawk.

I'm in no mood to lose another week to pain and exhaustion because of another migraine.

I'm relieved to notice that my tummy settled down nicely with my increased dose of Magnesium.  I'm taking 800mg a day.  This makes me incredibly happy, on top of that I feel  this mineral is having a beneficial effect on all my nerves, especially my head, because when I bend down or turn quickly, my head doesn't throb momentarily, from previous migraine injury, as it has done for years and only stopped once I started taking magnesium.   Hopefully this higher dose will be the much-needed insurance against vascular spasms.  

But of course, with migraine, as we so often read, some people believe it to be vascular and others neurological or metabolic e.g. electrolyte crisis.  

Another thing I've changed in my life is that I'm not drinking very much water now.  What I mean is, I still drink quite a lot, but I sip it instead of gulping it down as I used to.  This is not difficult for me, but it is quite a big change.  

I've done this because of the increased thirst I notice before a migraine.  I'm not entirely sure its as clear cut as that.

I think there is more to that reaction process than I've managed to read so far.

By that I mean, I think the increased thirst in my case, is probably a result of wanting to cool down quickly, because I can feel my temperature rising?

I'm going to watch everything this month, very closely, to try and notice when and how it really starts?  

Because I figured, if my migraines arrive via copious amounts of water e.g. my blood is being diluted too fast, then I'll deny my body that chance to 'depress' me.  The book I'm reading at the moment, mentioned last time, speaks about migraine being a 'neurological depression'...  

I'm also watching my urine, which ends up virtually colourless with a migraine, and I'm glad to say that its a  normal colour at the moment and my visiting the bathroom has not increased (yet...??).

The other thing I've noticed is that so far, my neck is fine too.  That's particularly odd, because for the last two nights I've been waking up at around 4am and not being able to get back to sleep again.    

In view of that, I'm actually managing my stress very well at the present time!

This is totally out of character for me, but freedom from pain is my chance to change.

Besides, I have no choice.  Stress is literally making my health very bad.  

So, what I've done is kind of cut my feelings off from so many things.  After all, the world will keep spinning, even if I disappear, so why should I care that much??

I've decided to view my life like a weird film that you tune into at the weekend and watch for a little while and then turn to another channel, with a disinterested shrug.  

I'm making myself feel deliberately detached from my surroundings.  

I find I am able to do this because excruciating pain is so lonely.  

No one is suffering these migraines like I am, so why should I permit others to give me hell????????

I'm so sick of every piece of torture that has been thrown my way.  I just want peace, I just want to manage my migraines calmly.  

You can understand how this is having a weird effect on those around mes.  My DH, who I love but exasperates me so, is totally perplexed and being dare I say, quite provocative with it?

He threw a particularly hurtful comment at me recently, he actually said that "there is nothing wrong with our dog and its all in your head".  (Can you believe that?  I paid £200 for a Vet to visit our house to observe the dog for 3 entire hours, to conclude: "Sorry, but your dog is very senile!" and this goof-ball of a husband says that to me???)

I listened to him as one would rain water trickling down a long, long pipe.

His face became hazy as he spoke and all I could think about was the excruciating pain I've recently had with these horrendous migraines and concluded that love, men or marriage do not deserve me to get ill again - voluntarily, anyway.

There's another thing that I'm doing for the first time in my life.  After reading this forum on migraines etc: 

I often type strings of words into google, to hunt through all the obvious combinations that could cause migraine, like constipation, over-heating and then I found this, related to scalp pain after migraine (and during).  

If you scroll down the page, you'll see a contribution by a guy called 'Steve B', which I hope he wont mind that I'm going to copy on here:

"I believe that scalp pain, that is pain outside of the skull/cranium is the result of inflamation or irritation of the trigeminal nerve. This is called trigeminal neuralgia and is (in my experience) often associated with migraine pain as the trigeminal nerve is often at the root of migraine pain. It is a seperate affliction though.

The trigeminal nerve branches out from the center of the brain and exits the skull at several points, just below the eyebrow in the roof of the eye socket, (do you tend to press upward with your thumb in this area when you migraine?), the temple area and above the ear to name a few.

Find out what is causing irritation of the trigeminal nerve and you may find what is triggering your migraines. I did and I have not had a migraine in over two years now.

Wishing you a pain free day!

Steve"

This is a truly fascinating thread and so I've decided to adopt this advice.  Since I've known for a long time that leading up to my period, I tend to become quite intense in the way I approach given tasks.  This even includes the way I sit and concentrate on stuff.  Especially when I'm taking in new information. 

Basically, I'll lean my head on my hand, and its usually the right hand which has contact with one of 3 favourite spots on my head, face and neck.

So I've decided I'm not going to apply this unnecessary pressure to any of the vessels in that area of my body anymore.  I'm determined to break that habit.  I don't think its going to be impossible to do that and so far so good.  Because here I am the day before all hell breaks loose and there is not a scintilla of head pain brewing.

Who knows, maybe there is a kink somewhere in one of my veins that gets angry anyway at my blessed hormones being out of whack, and my adding pressure to that side of my head, with my innocent hand, could indeed be self-inflicting torture, kind of thing?

I hate my body, I hate pain, I hate what migraine does to my hair - it virtually stands on end as if its not connected to me anymore.  My face looks like a ghost, my words get slurred, I'm squinting, my guts are turning over, my anus is complaining too.... the whole migraine syndrome is just such a huge waste of time....................................!