Terrible Insomnia Since Coming Off HRT

Migraine

I'm getting a migraine now.  It's very low grade and I'm still able to drive and rush around but I think its going to keep bugging me the whole day.

I have to attend a funeral today.  They are old friends but we fell out.  He died 2 and a half weeks ago, she rang me to invite us to the funeral.  I don't know how the day will pan out.  

Funeral

My DH is putting pressure on me to be friends with this lady again.  He recognises she is a lonely person and more so now that she's lost her husband.  I told my DH, unfortunately she makes herself lonely by saying things that other people would not.  (She has a lot of problems with jealousy/envy and it makes her quite prickly to get on with and on top of that she has a pretty dismal sense of humour.)  

Human Personality Types

We're all either cold or warm fish.  She is definitely cold and I tend to be warm except if someone gets on my nerves, then I tend to become a cold fish towards them.  Two cold fish don't work, one has to make the effort to be warm.  (My DH makes me angry in these circumstances.  Today is going to be trying, to say the least.)

Insomnia

My real problem however, is that I just cannot sleep.  I fall asleep for about 2 hours then it seems I've had enough and will just stay awake for the rest of the night.

I put this down to HRT, or rather the fact that after taking it for 17 months I'm obviously a year and a half further along the road of the demise of my reproductive life and am totally unused to these symptoms.  

Thank Goodness I look OK, my eyes are actually quite bright and not dry??  I don't know how I can look like this when I'm having such terrible nights??  

This has been happening for the last 5 nights!  FIVE WHOLE NIGHTS OF DISMAL SLEEP!  I'm turning into a monster.

Every single little noise is like a stabbing through my brain.  There is a building site next to our office/house and I could just about go round there and smash all their faces in.  How can people be drilling AND DRILLING when I just want them to shut up!

Panic Attack

I also had a long and sustained panic attack while out food shopping last night.

I knew this would happen when I stopped taking HRT because even though that pathetic fake hormonal balance fiasco is too awful for words, one thing it did very well was that it stopped me being overly emotional. 

The Plight of Rubbish Dump Donkeys

Well, it turns out that this time I'm very upset about rubbish dump donkeys.  Every time I see an image of an emaciated donkey I just want to quit my job, pack a bag and get the next flight out to save them.  

Considering I have a senile dog that needs me to look after him, this seems a little strange?

I HATE EVERYONE THAT IS HORRIBLE TO THESE TINY DONKEYS.  

They are so small and all they do is pull massive amounts of bricks and rubbish around on their bony backs that are covered in sores.  They are starving, very thirsty and are DRIVEN TO DEATH.

They are no bigger than large dogs and they suffer in silence.  

Some get beaten up and whipped, others are just so neglected you could cry.

(I know if I run upstairs and open my blister pack of HRT in about 1 hour this terribly emotional subject will be out of my head but I'm not going to take it and so I have to think about donkeys incessantly for a long time yet.)

Of course I can see that this obsessional emotional fretting is simply a part of low 'whatever', but I cant help it.  

Animals don't show pain like us, they don't moan and cry out or even show hopeless despair, they just stand there and suffer.

Eventually their heads will droop and their eyes crust up.  

They are utterly heroic in their suffering and cruel people who work them to death deserve their heads kicked in.

Apparently donkeys are not the rufty-tufty animals that we think they are.  They're sensitive, prone to stress, and live in little social groups where if one them gets sick, the others will stay close by.  Then, if one of them is taken away, the rest of their little group will get sick out of emotional suffering!  (Source: RSPCA Rescue programme)   

I have to go now and cry for about 30 minutes because I can't do anything to stop this happening except send them a bit of money and hope things improve.  

Sorry, but another word for 'hope' unfortunately is: PROCRASTINATION.  

Here are some links to articles and charities that work to help these poor neglected animals.

SPANA: For the working animals of this world

Shropshire News: Helping Hand for Beasts of Burden

The Brooke Charity : Good equine welfare implies both fitness and a sense of well-being and is defined by the Five Freedoms (issued by the Farm Animal Welfare Council in December 1979): its components are freedom from hunger, thirst, discomfort, pain, injury, disease, fear, distress and freedom to express normal behaviour.