Yesterday I experienced the worst migraine of my entire life.
It was so utterly awful I actually screamed with the pain.

I've published an account of the experience on another site and thought afterwards that it would be better for my current fear factor, if I regarded this awful experience as the first day in properly embracing that I have this debilitating affliction.  Here is an excerpt of that post, sorry if it appears overly shocking, quite honestly, it really was like a scene from a horror film!




"..........I got up with a very sharp pain in my head and thought I was about to be sick.
Had some breakfast and wanted desperately to get on with things, drive to work, look
normal, get things done and out of the way, especially as Christmas is coming - already!

Breakfast had no effect on my headache, then I looked at my diary to find out when it
started and that was 5 days ago.  I've done everything I should to stop it getting totally
out of control but its like a super storm in my head, once it gathers momentum, you cannot
get rid of it and the worst is yet to come...

So what began as an isolated of throbbing pain, made worse on exertion, started to
escalate into a midget with a pickaxe in my head, trying for all he was worth to kill me.

I know what I'm about to write is going to shock you, but its the truth and I wish this
was not happening to me.  

I started to grunt with the pain because it was returning in cycles of ouch, ouch and
ARGGHHH!!

Then the grunts were not enough and I started crying, this bit I hate because I suffer
from dry eyes a lot anyway and when they get bad I just cannot get any work done.  Then
the pain only goes and gets about 50 times worse !!

Then I find I'm actually shouting out with the pain as it comes in waves and each time
faster.  So the tears are streaming, the noise coming out of my mouth is pretty extreme
and then finally I started all-out screaming.

I thought, this is IT, I am going to die, this is how I will die, with no make-up on,
disgusting hair and of an internally exploding head.  I thought I must have an aneurism or
something rare that has caused me problems all my life and was now finally going to kill
me.

But guess what?  I didn't die, the pain just got worse and I was still standing there.
I was shaking by then and feeling really sick.  The room started spinning and I was
pleading with God just to end it.

Actually, I shouted at God - sorry if you're religious and stuff, but I honestly said to
him "if you want me to die, then just do it and stop this pain I have to suffer once
and for all!".

God wasn't listening, because the extreme agony just intensified...

Then it happened, I had enough and could stand it no more, so at that point I started to
punch myself the head, over and over again, about 20 times with each fist, as hard
as I could, feeling my knuckles hurt BUT MY HEAD DIDNT, my head was strangely NUMB!

Yes people, so much pain was being directed at one, self-inflicted inflammatory area, that
external pain (again self-inflicted) was not even heard by the nerve endings in my head.

Punching my own head-in and screaming was still not enough, the pain just raged on.  (God
it hurts to type now with mashed-up hands!).

So then I start screaming at the top of my voice - I thought the neighbours were going to
call the police, the living nightmare of it all was just so fast and violent.  

My exploding head was making my speech slurred and the room went black, then I just
reached up and started pulling huge handfuls of hair from my head with all my force, I
could hear hair ripping, I was pulling my face up and away with the bunches hair.  At one
point I pulled the hair so hard I thought it was going to bleed, instead of just coming
out.  I was screaming and grunting like a wild trapped animal that knew it was going to
die but wanted to die struggling rather than being imprisoned in pain.

Then I just kind of collapsed and my breathing pattern changed, I dont know what happened
but my hands were so painful and I just sat still, waiting for more agonising pain to return, then I
noticed it was quieter in my head, the throbbing was not as powerful, eventually I could
walk around and finally about 1 1/2 hours later, I could bend down without pain, at last.

Such is my migraine hell.